13 Reasons Why... Tape 11

Hey... this is Hannah Baker...

Any time we hear the start of the tapes, I literally get a chill down my spine. It feels like someone is haunting me and I am just watching. I live through these characters, especially Clay. Clay is just a cute little lonely boy. He reminds me so much of Dan Humphry from Gossip Girl.

"Spotted: Lonely Boy. Can’t believe the love of his life has returned. If only she knew who he was. xoxo gossip girl"

We love rooting for the underdogs, and Clay is just that. He is awkward and lacks social skills. He melts our hearts in every way, even when Hannah pushes him away. We love when he takes responsibility to get justice for Hannah. No matter how much shit he gets from everyone else, he does it for her.

Tape 11 changed everything for Clay. He was constantly blaming others and getting revenge on them, making them feel the way Hannah did. But when he listened to his own tape, his soul broke. He loved Hannah so much and blames himself for not being able to show her that love. He believes that he is the one who killed Hannah.

Now, I don't know if the writers purposefully made us feel that he shouldn't feel like it's his fault and wanted him to pull though this self doubt. But Tony reaffirmed that it was Clay that killed her. To me that blows my mind! Events happened and people were mean, but she chose to take her life, not one person pulled the trigger. It was a collaborative effort. She was already in such a big hole from everything going on, that she was not getting out of it even if she did feel Clays love.

Hannah was let down, but Clay one who did. He was there for her even when everyone wasn't. Hannah pushed him away and he can't blame himself for that.

"You couldn't save me," Hannah Baker